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Thank you Sheril Bustaman for writing this.
She speaks about her own experience going through a missed miscarriage and brings up reasons why though it is common, not many people want to talk about it.
https://fatbidin.com/2020/06/10/sitwithmum-keeping-mum-about-not-being-mums/
《生命鬥士》
最近執媽遇到個生命鬥士
佢係一個出左世一日既bb👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻
但原來佢既生命係幾經辛苦先執到返黎
呢個媽媽講返佢既經歷比我聽，
再望住懷中好似舊綿花咁柔軟既bb
真係忍唔住滴下開心既眼淚💧
當日呢位媽媽恨左兩年，終於比佢陀到bb,
對住親戚朋友都三緘其口，怕bb小氣會陀唔穩！👼🏻👼🏻
終於過左三個月可以上網公布喜訊，可能呢個世界真係有「小氣」呢樣野😔😔😔
Bb去到13週幾既一晚，突然係媽媽訓訓下教期間「早期穿水」😵😵😵💦💦💦
需知道，係香港法例規定，24週以下既bb唔officially treated as 「胎兒」只係會當做「胚胎」
23週以下突然肚痛穿水作早產，都真係只可以自求多福😔😔😔😔
係某d醫院，2️⃣3️⃣週至2️⃣4️⃣週其間，醫生會同父母商量，到底要唔要搶救，但當然後續既發育係令人擔心架喇！
過左2️⃣4️⃣週，佢已經係一個「胎兒」，醫生一定會全力搶救架！
而今次呢個13週就穿水既bb主角！真係一個好少數見到既例子！
真係嚇到媽媽鼻哥窿都冇肉呀！
Confirm左真係穿水之後，根本冇野可以做，只會treat as missed abortion(小產）,可以做既係比抗生素預防媽媽感染、照住超聲波去監察bb胎水狀況同發育，直至自然/手術排出🔪🗡
呢位媽媽當然喊到傻左喇，但佢話穿左水後望住個超聲波，見到bb個心仔仍然強而有力咁跳緊！💓💓手腳繼續郁🤸🏻♂️🤸🏻♂️胎水亦冇明顯咁少到，好似係到叫緊媽媽要努力唔好放棄佢咁呀😭😭😭😭😭聽到呢到，執媽都眼濕濕呀😢😢😢
就係咁樣，日復日🌅🌄，不斷訓床休息🛌🛌🛌，放棄工作，媽媽同bb渡過一個又一個難關，bb繼續長大，胎水仍然健在！直到最後自然作動見紅穿水肚痛，bb足月順產出世👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻
好感動，可能係因為神蹟或者滿天神彿保佑🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻，可能bb只係穿左兩層胎膜既其中一層，可能個窿只係好細之後自己慢慢合返埋🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
無論咩原因都好，bb,執媽真係好欣賞你！咁細粒就已經經歷咁多大挑戰！而你都一一誇過！（最厲害既係抽血驗發炎指數都完全正常）！！希望你將來遇到任何困難都會好似出世前咁勇敢！你媽媽都會一直做你最強後盾！❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
其實由知道懷孕一刻！每個父母都只係希望bb可以健康正常成長
但往往懷孕就好似要過五關斬六將咁每關KO
執媽祝願你地每一位都平安順利渡過懷孕期，生個健康bb
你地或者朋友有冇好驚險既懷孕過程想分享？留言比我呀
#港式執媽
#PPROM
#pretermprenatureruptureofmembranes
#早期穿水
【白頭偕老，談何容易】
Was answering some questions from my client last night.
Most of us here would had our wedding dates selected by a Feng Shui master. Be it of our choice, our parents' or our in-laws'.
I had mine selected by Master You Long Zi. He was my father's favourite fortune teller for decades.
At that time, I didn't know of any FSM that I could trust. Master You Long Zi gave me several choices and a mini manual of to-do and not-to-do.
I remember the session was about 15 minutes. Then again, the dates are all that matter. For a veteran like Master You Long Zi, doesn't need a long time to select good dates.
I did not give him any restriction like must be on a weekend, must be by XXX month because of upcoming flat, or must be in anniversary month.
I was wiling to accommodate to a good date, than to have a good date accommodate to me. 日子天定，非人定。 For that can mean a subpar date for my once-in-a-lifetime.
After being more adept at date selection, I went to check on my wedding date.
It was a great auspicious date on all counts, benefiting both the Husband and I.
Our wedding spans over two days, with 2 wedding dinners of 600 guests and a solemnisation ceremony at Fo Guang Shan temple.
Did everything go smoothly? Yes.
Was it fun? Definitely.
Do we have a happy marriage, eleven years after we said our vows? Yes and no.
An auspicious wedding date sets the tone for a happy and lasting union. It is the birth date (Bazi) of your marriage.
At its most basic, a good date ensures that your wedding day proceeds smoothly, and that any hiccup or disagreement will be kept to a minimum. Both families will be happy. Good memories last a lifetime. Bad memories erupt into WWIII, every time your wife speaks of her wedding day.
For the brides, an auspicious date helps to protect them from being bullied by the in-laws.
It fulfils the Heavenly component of the Metaphysics equation of success: 天時 (Right Time), 地利 (Right Place) and 人和 (Right People).
There are still two other factors that matters.
The Feng Shui of the matrimonial home and the compatibility of the couple's Bazi.
We don't just want an auspicious wedding.
We crave a marriage that is happy and strong.
Among my clients, 90% of them neglected their home Feng Shui. Sometimes, it's both parties, sometimes it's one spouse.
Almost all of them don't have a logical reason to dispute Chinese Metaphysics. It is mostly an emotional reaction to disbelieve, or the commonly misplace mindset of "I don't want to be bound by rules and just want to live freely" playing prank.
This concept of "living freely" is like come what may, good luck or bad luck.
You think a fulfilling marriage happens to everyone? If that is true, there won't be thousands of angsty love songs.
There is no ESC button that we can readily press, when things gets rough.
And some words when spoken wrongly, can't be DEL.
Fact of life: it takes more than a good wedding date to sustain a marriage.
We use Feng Shui to help harmonise the living environment of a family unit, so that the couple do not have to risk their marriage in vain.
A marriage is more vulnerable than you care to admit.
Good Feng Shui helps keep roving eyes in check and snip away the unwanted Peach Blossom (Bad) Luck in time.
It brings in more abundance for the couple, than what the couple can achieve on their own. #人的力量是有限的.
It nurtures children who are more filial, obedient and focused in their studies.
It clears up many obstacles and attracts benefactors into your life.
A simple benefactor can be a great tutor that your child likes or a helpful maid that does not give you problems or steal your loose change.
It's easy to say, "We will do whatever it takes to keep our marriage strong."
Come on, let's get real. We are humans. We get tired. We get stressed.
We pick at nitty-gritty faults and magnify them unnecessarily.
This is especially common in couples whose Bazi are mismatched.
During home selection or wedding date selection. couples would ask me about their Bazi compatibility.
Isn't it kinda late? What are you going to do, even if you know the truth? Cancel your wedding plans?
It's rare to see couples of compatible Bazi. Then again, marriage is a game of karmic debt for many people. #人生本來就是酬業
The best time to ask about your Bazi is to seek a proper Bazi consultation with me, way before you have any wedding plan.
I sometimes get requests from my clients to bring their favourite human along, but my stance had always been to only meet the client alone.
There will be some limitations in what I can tell you, if your concerned girlfriend is hovering beside you.
You know me. I am direct. No girlfriend can take it, if I tell you she is of a poor wife material, and don't marry her, no matter what.
If I don't tell you the truth, next time you're going to say Ji Qian makes a poor fortune teller.
If you are married, a Bazi consultation will set things into better perspective and get you of out of your rut.
Not everyone's Bazi gets better after marriage.
Not every man marries a woman who brings him better luck.
Not every woman snags a man who makes a good husband and father.
About 8 years ago, I once told a teenager in secondary school that she must marry late or she will risk having an unhappy marriage. I strongly advocated celibacy before marriage.
I knew she wouldn't listen, but I still went ahead to nag.
She was pregnant before turning 21 and got wedded in a haste.
According to her, it was a planned move to have a child. #badmove
Time to time, I would hear her whine about her unhappiness with her spouse, her in-laws and the problems with her daughter.
I had wanted to bring up this point in my workshops but had missed out every single time.
Children who are conceived outside wedlock are one of the hardest to raise.
Life is short. Don't waste time and suffer for nothing, when you already have access to a practitioner who is willing to help.
.........
p.s. If you get pregnant before marriage, please give birth to the child. Never ever choose abortion. There is no fury like a murdered baby scorned.
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